Stop Over-Preparing: Why Rehearsing Makes Speaking Anxiety Worse
You have a presentation next week. So you start preparing.
You write out everything you want to say. You rehearse it in your head. You script your responses to possible questions. You practice in front of the mirror.
By the time the moment arrives, you've spent hours—maybe days—preparing.
But instead of feeling confident, you feel exhausted. And when something goes off-script (which it always does), your entire knowledge base feels inaccessible.
Here's what's actually happening: over-preparation is perpetuating the problem, not solving it.
The Over-Preparation Paradox
This feels counterintuitive because we're taught that preparation equals confidence.
More preparation should mean better performance, right?
But with speaking anxiety, the opposite is true.
The more you over-prepare, the more anxious you become. Here's why:
Over-preparation reinforces that your natural voice isn't enough
When you script everything word-for-word, you're telling your brain: "I can't trust myself to speak spontaneously."
Every time you rehearse obsessively, you strengthen the belief that you need a script to sound competent.
Then when you're put on the spot (without your script), you have nothing to fall back on. You've never practiced trusting what you know in the moment.
Over-preparation creates brittle confidence
When you memorize exactly what you'll say, your confidence is fragile. It depends entirely on things going according to plan.
But things never go exactly according to plan:
Someone asks a question you didn't anticipate
The conversation goes in an unexpected direction
You lose your train of thought
The meeting gets cut short
When your preparation is rigid, any deviation feels like failure.
Over-preparation exhausts you before you even speak
You spend so much mental energy preparing that by the time the moment arrives, you're already depleted.
The anxiety doesn't decrease with more preparation. It increases.
Because you're spending days reinforcing: "This is something to be anxious about."
What Over-Preparation Actually Is
Let's call it what it really is: self-abandonment.
When you over-prepare for days, trying to control every possible outcome, you're not trusting yourself.
You're trying to replace yourself with a script.
You're treating your natural voice like a problem to be fixed rather than a resource to be accessed.
This is exhausting. And it doesn't work.
The Pattern You're Stuck In
Here's the cycle over-preparation creates:
You have an upcoming presentation ↓
You feel anxious about it ↓
You try to control the anxiety by over-preparing ↓
You spend days scripting and rehearsing ↓
The moment arrives and something goes off-script ↓
Your prepared script becomes useless ↓
You struggle to access what you know spontaneously ↓
You blame yourself for not preparing enough ↓
Next time, you prepare even more ↓
The anxiety gets worse =
This cycle is self-reinforcing. And the harder you try to break it through more preparation, the stronger it becomes.
What Efficient Preparation Looks Like
The solution isn't to stop preparing entirely. It's to prepare differently.
Instead of scripting what to say, prepare how to organize your thinking
Don't write out your exact words. Create a flexible structure:
What's my main point?
What's one reason that supports it?
What example illustrates it?
This gives you scaffolding without making you dependent on memorization.
Instead of anticipating every question, clarify your unique expertise
Don't try to have answers for everything. Get clear on:
What only I can contribute to this conversation
Where my expertise is most relevant
What perspective I bring that others don't
Then speak from that place, even if questions go in unexpected directions.
Instead of rehearsing for hours, practice for 15 minutes
Don't run through your entire presentation multiple times. Instead:
Say your main point out loud once
Practice the opening sentence
Identify your 3 key ideas
Stop
If you can't articulate your main point in one sentence after 15 minutes of prep, more rehearsal won't help. The problem is clarity, not repetition.
Why This Feels So Hard to Stop
You might be thinking: "But if I don't over-prepare, I'll be completely unprepared."
This is the fear that keeps you stuck.
But here's what I've observed with thousands of clients: the people who over-prepare the most are often the most knowledgeable.
You don't need more preparation. You need to trust what you already know.
The over-preparation is a symptom of not trusting yourself—not evidence that you need to prepare more.
How to Break the Over-Preparation Cycle
Start small. Pick one low-stakes situation and experiment:
Before a team meeting:
Spend 5 minutes clarifying your main point
Don't script anything
Trust yourself to articulate it in the moment
Notice what happens
Before a presentation:
Create an outline (not a script)
Practice the opening once
Stop preparing
See how it goes
When anxiety tells you to prepare more:
Notice the urge
Remind yourself: "Over-preparation perpetuates the problem"
Do something else
Trust that you know your stuff
The first time you do this, it will feel uncomfortable. That's normal.
But you'll discover something important: you can access what you know without having scripted everything.
And that discovery breaks the cycle.
The Real Source of Confidence
Confidence doesn't come from perfect preparation.
It comes from repeatedly trusting yourself in imperfect moments—and discovering you're capable.
Every time you speak without a script and survive, you build evidence: "I can handle the unexpected."
Every time you respond to a question you didn't anticipate, you strengthen: "I trust what I know."
This is sustainable confidence. Not performed. Not faked. Built through practice.
