How to Be More Confident at Work Without Changing Who You Are
A friend told me yesterday he's thinking about leaving his corporate job.
He talked about the way things are supposed to be done and what he "should" do before making the leap.
He said, "That's what makes sense."
To which I said, "Nothing makes sense. The 'sense' world is burning."
In this moment, we have to accept that we are the leaders. There's no one who will tell us what we are supposed to do right now. The way things are supposed to be done is dead.
Instead, we get to listen to ourselves and each other, and build the future that we know our children deserve.
Why "Best Practices" Don't Build Real Confidence
Sometimes, when people come to me for speaking coaching, they want a list of Best Practices, Do's-and-Don'ts when communicating.
I tell them they are talking to the wrong coach.
My work has always been about rejecting the limitations that constrain each of our own unique ways of being so we can stand more firmly in ourselves.
This work is about diving deep into our own voices so that we can build unwavering stability (that's real confidence) and bring that like a beacon to all of our interactions, meetings, and most important moments.
Like my private client who just texted me after landing a new role: "Our work has been life changing, I feel more confident publicly speaking, poised to take on any conversation topic, and in touch with the inner strength that I bring to the table."
There Has Never Been One Right Way to Lead
If you are hesitant to lead, at work or in this moment, remember that there has never been one way to do things (but it benefits a small group of people if the rest of us think that there is).
I remember when I first started PresentVoices in 2018. I had run a few businesses with friends and had been doing this coaching work for a few years plus directing theater, working in neuropsychology, had a million jobs for a decade before. But I still thought there was so much I had to learn before being able to do business "right" just because I hadn't done this exact thing before.
I hear this daily from clients who want to move from one industry to another, but doubt that they can sell themselves because they haven't done their skill set in that exact way before.
But this is what happens in senior leadership:
We each have our own unique process rooted in our lived experience and exact expertise (which is singular) and we can apply that to a varied number of situations, as long as we trust ourselves to be present and attentive to the needs in front of us.
How to Be More Confident at Work by Rejecting Toxic "Should"
If you are someone who wants to be more visible but believe deep down that you need to change the way you show up and speak up because some toxic workplace makes you doubt yourself, remember that the opposite is true (even though it feels so counterintuitive).
It is always by rejecting the toxicity and limiting beliefs that are embedded in their workplaces that my clients find sustaining confidence.
It is in believing they are the people primed to lead in this moment because of their unique ability to preserve our humanity at work.
Every single time.
The Confidence That Comes From Your Unique Leadership Style
When people ask how to be more confident at work, they're often looking for the formula. The checklist. The "right" way to have executive presence.
But real confidence doesn't come from following someone else's playbook.
It comes from:
Rejecting the limitations that tell you there's only one way to lead
Standing more firmly in yourself instead of trying to fit a mold
Trusting your lived experience and exact expertise
Being present and attentive to the needs in front of you
Even in this moment, the leaders I get to support are the people guiding us towards a future we all need to believe in right now.
They are the scientists and engineers and doctors and cultural workers, the people leaders who know how to lead with humanity at the center, because it is the only way forward.
There's No "Right" Way to Lead (But There Is Your Way)
If that is you, remember that there is no one right way to do things, there's no "right" way to lead.
But there is your way.
And the more that you can hone it and honor it, the more you can show up and speak up for your community, colleagues, and yourself.
This is how you build real confidence:
Not by changing who you are.
Not by following best practices that weren't designed for you.
Not by trying to fit into a leadership style that feels foreign.
But by diving deep into your own voice. By building unwavering stability from the inside. By trusting that your unique way of leading is exactly what's needed.
