Three Ways to Improve Your Virtual Presence
Improve your virtual presence with three evidence-based strategies that address what's actually happening—scattered attention, performance anxiety, and lack of real-time feedback. Most virtual presence advice focuses on lighting. This focuses on Empathetic Presence.
You're competent on video calls with your team. But when you need to present to senior leadership on Zoom or speak up in a large virtual meeting, something changes.
You become hyperaware of your video square. You wonder how you're coming across. You lose your train of thought. Your virtual presence feels less authoritative than your in-person presence.
And you're not imagining it. Virtual communication creates specific challenges. But most advice about improving virtual presence focuses on the wrong things.
Why Virtual Presence Feels Harder
Virtual presence is really about Empathetic Presence in a digital medium. The fundamentals are the same—being present, grounded, and connected to your audience. But video adds specific obstacles:
You can see yourself. That video square showing your own face creates a feedback loop. You're watching yourself speak, which makes you self-conscious, which affects how you speak.
You can't read the room. In person, you get continuous feedback from body language, facial expressions, energy shifts. On video, especially in large meetings, you're speaking into what feels like a void.
The stakes feel higher. When you're recorded or when there are many participants, every word feels permanent and public. That activates performance anxiety.
You're confident when you're comfortable. These challenges affect everyone, but they hit harder if you already struggle with status anxiety or speaking anxiety. The lack of real-time feedback and the constant visibility amplify the discomfort.
What Most Virtual Presence Advice Gets Wrong
Traditional advice about virtual presence focuses on: Look at the camera. Improve your lighting. Choose a professional background. Frame yourself correctly.
Those things can help, but they don't address what's actually undermining your virtual presence—the way virtual communication affects your nervous system and attention.
When you're focused on your video square or on technical details, you're not present with your content or your audience. Your virtual presence suffers not because of your setup, but because your attention is split.
These three strategies address what's actually happening. They're not technical hacks—they're practices in Empathetic Presence that help you stay grounded and connected even through a screen.
1. Hide Self-View
This is the single most effective thing you can do to improve your virtual presence.
Why it works: When you can see yourself, you're constantly monitoring how you look. That takes mental energy away from your actual message. You become performative instead of present.
You're focusing on your appearance—Do I look professional? Is my face doing something weird? Am I sitting straight?—instead of your impact. That split attention undermines your Empathetic Presence.
How to do it:
In Zoom: Right-click on your video and select "Hide Self View." In other platforms: Look for similar options in settings.
You'll still be visible to others—you just won't see yourself.
What happens: Your attention consolidates on your content and your audience instead of your appearance. You get out of your head (where performance anxiety lives) and into the present moment (where confidence lives).
Your virtual presence becomes more authentic because you're not performing for yourself.
If you're worried: Yes, check your framing and lighting before the call starts. Make sure you look presentable. But once the call begins, hide your view. Trust that you look fine and focus on communicating clearly.
This is Empathetic Presence: shifting your attention from your perception to your impact.
2. Focus on One Person at a Time
In large virtual meetings, it's tempting to try to address "everyone." But that makes your presence generic and less compelling.
Why it works: When you speak to everyone, you speak to no one. Your eye contact is scattered. Your energy is diffuse. Your presence feels less powerful because it's not directed anywhere.
But when you speak to one specific person—really see them, connect with them—your virtual presence becomes magnetic. Even through a screen.
How to do it:
Choose someone on the screen who’s present and makes you feel comfortable and move their Zoom tile to the top center of your screen. Look at that one person's video square and speak directly to them. You don’t have to shift to look at anyone else because no one knows where you are looking anyway (and this keeps your focus and presence centralized and consolidated).
This creates the experience of direct connection even through a screen. It's the virtual equivalent of making eye contact in a room.
What happens: Your virtual presence feels more personal and genuine. People feel like you're speaking to them, not performing for a group. Your communication becomes more compelling.
Technical note: Looking at the camera creates the illusion of eye contact for your audience, but it's hard to sustain and makes you feel disconnected. Looking at people's faces on screen is more natural and keeps you connected to your audience.
This is practicing Empathetic Presence: using your empathy to connect with individuals instead of broadcasting to a void.
3. Use the Grounded Bubble Before and During Calls
Your virtual presence is directly affected by your nervous system state. When you're anxious, you speak faster, think less clearly, and come across as less authoritative.
Why it works: Virtual anxiety lives in your body—heart racing, shallow breath, tension. When you ground your physical state, your virtual presence naturally improves.
The Grounded Bubble is a simple practice that gets you out of your head and into your body in 10 seconds.
How to do it before calls:
Feel your back on the chair (or your feet on the floor if you’re standing - notice the contact)
Take one full exhale (don't worry about the inhale, just let it happen naturally)
Notice your surroundings (what you hear, what you see in your physical space)
Remind yourself of your objective—what matters most in this call
This consolidates your scattered attention. Instead of worrying about a dozen things that could go wrong, you're present in your body, in this moment.
How to do it during calls:
When you feel anxiety rising:
Notice your breath without trying to change it
Press your feet firmly into the floor or your back against the chair
If you lose your train of thought, pause instead of filling the space with "um" or rambling
What happens: You stay present instead of getting lost in performance anxiety. Your pacing slows down naturally. Your thinking becomes clearer. Your virtual presence feels more grounded and authoritative.
This is Embodied Presence: anchoring your attention in your body instead of your anxious thoughts.
What About the Technical Stuff?
Yes, lighting matters. Yes, framing matters. Yes, a decent microphone helps.
But here's the thing: People forgive imperfect technical setups when your presence is strong. They don't forgive a polished setup if your presence is anxious, performative, or disconnected.
If you want to optimize the technical aspects:
Lighting: Face a window or use a ring light so your face is evenly lit. Avoid having a window behind you, which creates silhouettes.
Framing: Position your camera at eye level or slightly above. Frame yourself so there's a little space above your head and you're not too close or too far.
Audio: Use headphones to reduce echo and improve sound quality. A USB microphone is better than your laptop mic, but built-in audio is fine for most situations.
Background: Be intentional with what’s seen in the background. That’s it.
Do these things once, before your calls. Then forget about them and focus on your presence.
Virtual Presence Is Still Just Presence
The word "virtual" makes it feel like a completely different skill set. But your virtual presence is still your presence—your ability to be present with your audience and your content.
The medium creates specific challenges, but the solution is the same as for in-person presence: Stay grounded. Use your empathy to connect. Trust your expertise.
When you hide self-view, you're choosing to trust your presence instead of monitoring your appearance.
When you focus on one person at a time, you're creating real connection instead of performing for a void.
When you ground yourself, you're regulating your nervous system so your natural confidence can emerge.
These aren't hacks or tricks. They're practices that help you stay present in a medium designed to fragment your attention.
What to Do Next
Start with hiding self-view. This single change will improve your virtual presence more than any technical adjustment.
Then practice focusing on one person at a time in your next virtual meeting. Notice how this changes your energy and presence.
Build your grounding practice so you can access the Grounded Bubble quickly before and during calls.
And stop obsessing about your setup. Once your basic tech is functional, your virtual presence depends on your ability to stay present, not on your equipment.
You're Already Capable of Strong Virtual Presence
If you can communicate effectively in person, you can communicate effectively virtually. The skills are the same—staying present, trusting your expertise, connecting with your audience.
The challenge is that the virtual medium creates additional distractions and anxiety triggers. Seeing yourself. Not being able to read the room. Feeling like you're performing for a camera instead of talking to people.
But those challenges have solutions. And those solutions aren't about becoming a different kind of communicator. They're about removing the obstacles that keep you from showing up as yourself.
Your virtual presence doesn't need to be polished or performed. It needs to be present. And that means giving yourself permission to stop monitoring your appearance and start focusing on what actually matters—your message and your audience.
This isn't about perfecting your virtual presence. It's about liberating it.
Not next week when you've upgraded your equipment. Right now, with what you have, present and grounded and authentically yourself.
Practice, not perfection. Presence, not performance.
Ready to Stop Performing and Start Speaking?
If you're tired of over-preparing, second-guessing yourself, and losing your voice when it matters most—there's a better way.
I've spent over a decade helping empathetic leaders develop what I call Empathetic Presence: the ability to access your natural confidence even when status anxiety shows up.
It's built on three pillars:
EMBODY Your Confidence → Get out of your head and into your body
LEVERAGE Your Empathy → Use empathy as a focusing tool, not a distraction
OWN Your Expertise → Articulate your unique perspective clearly
This isn't about perfecting your voice. It's about liberating it.
Because the work isn't about becoming someone else. It's about being more fully yourself.
Practice, not perfection. Presence, not performance.
