What's the Problem with Screen Time?

Most of us have spent the last year of our lives in our devices.

A news program is running on the TV in the background and I'm snacking unconsciously. It’s like my entire being is shrunk into the tiniest part of my brain, probably my amygdala, where all my stress and trauma lives. I feel small and scared.

It happens on Zoom calls too. We’re leaning in to show we’re engaged, expending all our physical energy by nodding and smiling, and unconsciously making ourselves small to get just one word in before we’re interrupted again. We’re living in these screens and they’re making us minuscule and miserable.

This is the problem with screen time.

If we're conscious, if we're in our bodies, this is not an issue. It’s when we make ourselves small and contort ourselves into the tiny screen in front of us that it becomes problematic. It becomes problematic when opportunities for social and professional connection are defined and confined by screens.

This week, as we enter year two of our screen time pandemic, I’m inviting you to do something with me: Practice doing one thing at a time, just for a moment, until you unconsciously start multitasking again.

When you realize you're laying on the couch and you’re inside your phone and you're going from social media app to social media app, from Twitter to Instagram to Facebook to LinkedIn to Twitter to Facebook and right back again. When you realize you're on cycle five of this and it’s unconscious and you're not in control: Consolidate your attention towards doing one thing at a time.

This has been one of my main coping mechanisms during the pandemic. When I’m brushing my teeth at the end of the day, still replaying situations in my brain, like a screen in my mind, I bring my attention to the sensations of the brush on my teeth. That’s my one thing at a time.

I’ve been doing this a lot with my daughter, too: I've been using her as the anchor. When I’m done with my 8 hours of Zoom calls a day, she is the one thing at a time that I'm trying to focus on.

This is not about perfection. I barely ever achieve this. It’s north star territory. It’s moving in this direction as a goal.

And let me also say that I understand the desire to get lost in our phones right now. It’s comforting and feels oddly safe, compared to the sheer terror before us most days. So, need a mindless scroll while doom-snacking popcorn and playing CNN in the background? Make it intentional and on purpose. At least don’t beat yourself up for it. We all need grace right now.

What coping mechanisms have you developed to help you through this not-so-new virtual reality over the past year?