How to Overcome Anxiety and Speak Up Confidently in Meetings
Why Speaking Up in Meetings Causes Anxiety
For many of us, speaking up in meetings can trigger anxiety, racing thoughts, and even physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat or a shaky voice. You're not alone - research shows that up to 95% of people experience some form of anxiety when speaking up at work.
The Real Problem Isn't You - It's the System
Before diving into strategies, it's important to understand that speaking anxiety isn't a personal failing. Toxic workplace cultures often prioritize quick responses and reward those who speak first, creating an environment that can feel unsafe for many voices - especially those from underrepresented groups.
It’s Not About Communication—It’s About Focus
Many of the people I support want to be “better” communicators. They overwork and overthink, focusing on finding the right words to sound a certain way and over prioritizing how they are perceived instead of what they want to say.
This creates splintered attention because focusing on perception dilutes ability to be present and makes confidence harder to access.
Instead of trying to be a better communicator, focus on focus. If you are focusing on how you are perceived, we want to re-focus on the impact you can have with your voice. Work on consolidating your focus in the present moment.
This might be through somatic tools, like leaning back or breath, or incorporating framework to give you structure when speaking spontaneously.
Practical Strategies to Speak Up With More Confidence
Prioritize Comfort Over Perception: Instead of focusing on how you're being perceived, concentrate on making yourself physically comfortable. Try leaning back instead of forward to create more space in your body.
Use Micro-Pauses: Give yourself permission to pause briefly between thoughts. These small breaks help align your speaking pace with your thinking pace and actually make you sound more authoritative.
Anchor Your Attention: When anxiety hits, focus on something physical - the sensation of your feet on the floor, your breath, or a fixed point in the room. This helps break the cycle of racing thoughts.
Replace Anxiety with Purpose: Before speaking, set a clear intention. Ask yourself: "What do I want my audience to understand?" This shifts focus from self-consciousness to impact.
Harness Presence not Perfection: if you are trying to craft the perfect way of saying something, remember that words only count for 7% of how you are perceived. Focus on being present with your audience instead. This is how we improve hormonal confidence.
Virtual Meeting Specific Tips
Virtual meetings present unique challenges but also opportunities:
Position your camera at eye level to create more natural engagement
Hide your self-view on Zoom to reduce visual overwhelm and watching yourself
Keep notes at the top of your screen to maintain natural eye contact
When You're Put on the Spot
If you're suddenly called on, remember these key points:
Take a conscious breath before speaking
Focus on sharing your expertise rather than finding "perfect" words
Use simple frameworks like "Purpose, Opportunity, Proposal" to structure your thoughts
Building Long-term Confidence
Remember that confidence isn't about eliminating anxiety - it's about being comfortable enough to speak up despite it. Practice these techniques in low-stakes situations first, then gradually apply them to more challenging contexts.
Creating Inclusive Meeting Cultures
If you're in a leadership position, consider how to create space for all voices:
Implement a "circle" approach where everyone gets a chance to speak
Provide agenda items in advance so people can prepare
Acknowledge and amplify contributions from quieter team members
