Interrupting on Zoom: Conversational Responsibility

I'm not in your meetings everyday but I talk to enough of you to know that there's a lot of interrupting happening. There's a lot of talking over each other and trying to get a word in and it's the same types of voices who are constantly being heard. Does this ring a bell?

Today, I want to talk about conversational responsibility. I'm talking to a lot of you in all different industries and all different levels of seniority and this is an issue for everyone. When I hear this, it usually means that conversational responsibility is a bit unbalanced.

I like talking about this in this way because it assumes best intentions. What if the people who are taking up a lot of space are doing it out of conversational responsibility? This is what happens when we are averse to silence as we are in this society.

If you are one of these people who is holding a lot of conversational responsibility, just see it for what it is and share some of that conversational responsibility. This is wildly impacted by power and privilege, which is constantly at play at work and everywhere around us.

First, of course, I recommend leaning back. If you have a tendency to interject, then leaning in is going to make that urge stronger. When you lean back, you create a bit more spaciousness for yourself and those around you and actually make it more effortful for you to interject.

From there, take that extra awareness and ease and look for an opportunity to “take the conversation”. Use a bit of intentional filler to grab the conversation and then to take a pause, looking away to signal that you're thinking, and then reengage via eye contact to continue the thought. This allows you to take the conversation, reground your attention and to move forward with more power instead of just adding to the noise.

Try to build this into your meetings. If you are in a position of power and privilege, you have an exceptional responsibility to do so and if you begin working in these intentional pauses, you're going to give your team permission to do so as well. Communication is contagious, so let's slow the pace down a bit. Everyone will benefit.