Last week, I had the distinct privilege of taking off a whole week from work for the first time since the pandemic began. Have you done it? Have you taken a break from work? If you're someone who has been working a lot, as I have been, particularly around screens, it is so necessary. In fact, the week before a client of mine identified themselves as an efficiency monster, and they made it sound like a good thing. I said, “Wow, that sounds familiar!”

That statement is the biggest observation I have from taking a week away. The amount of times I unconsciously grabbed my phone, and started looking at it, despite the fact that my overarching intention for the week was to take a break from screens. Yet, every other moment, right there I was automatically without much conscious thought picking up my phone and scrolling. It was shocking to me.

The other thing that was so unbelievably shocking to me was how much I was automatically in crisis mode. For those of us who are caretakers, I am so lucky to have a partner who has been caring for my little one while I worked over this past year, but many of us are not in that boat. Those of us who have been caretaking a lot throughout the pandemic, we are in constant crisis mode and alertness. I really could not see how much I was in crisis mode until I had an opportunity to step outside of it.

If you know this work, you know that I have one rule and one rule only; you can do anything you want, as long as you do it consciously.

This is why it was so upsetting for me last week to notice these behaviors that were completely unconscious. The unconscious behavior of picking up the phone every 15 seconds, despite me reminding myself to put it down, was scary. So this week, if you don't have the opportunity to take a break from work, what I implore you to do is to notice the unconsciousness of your behaviors. What are you doing out of automatic behavior that is not from your choice at the moment?

Our automatic reaction is something like,” ah, why did I do that again?” We know that doesn't help us change behavior. Instead of having that reaction, can you consciously insert a proactive choice instead? 

My favorite one for this week has been that when I unconsciously pick up the phone and I start scrolling, instead of stopping or beating myself up, I just make sure I'm breathing fully and consciously all the way down to my toes.

The breathing technique makes sure that even if I am stuck in unconscious behavior, I'm going to bring some consciousness to it. I'm going to bring an embodied behavior to it instead by breathing all the way down through my toes. 

You might also try to pick a behavior and activity that you do every day and bring some consciousness to it. Whether that is brushing your teeth, washing the dishes, going for a walk, or even playing with your kid, making the activity in front of you the physical nature of it the primary focus will anchor you through that activity. 

So let me know how it goes this week with bringing these unconscious behaviors to consciousness. Trying to do one thing at a time instead of six things at once and not beating yourself up for it. 

Let me know how it goes!