I’m in the audience at a conference and it is Q&A time. I raise my hand to ask a question and my heart starts pounding.

Suddenly, I can’t hear myself think. My mind goes blank.

All I can think about is how I CANNOT THINK ON MY FEET.

I ask the question but I’m gasping for air, trying to take a deep breath, and that just makes the anxiety worse.

My mouth gets really dry and my voice sounds shaky.

Great, now everyone can tell I’m nervous!

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.

In fact, my data shows that 88.4% of people experience speaking nerves at times.

Why does our heart beat fast?

Our autonomic nervous system has two modes: The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for relaxation, digestion, circulation, breath regulation, and can help with cognition (thinking on our feet).

When our bodies perceive a threat, our sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight) is activated. Adrenaline rushes through our system causing our heart rate to increase and our body pumps more blood. Muscle cells contract which causes sweating or blushing.

When we go into fight-or-flight, our vagus nerve shuts down which helps send information from our brain to our gut and vice versa.

Unfortunately, adrenaline and anxiety feel nearly identical. So even if you’re experiencing excitement from this activation, it can be hard to not feel nervous if you’ve experienced speaking anxiety in the past.

The connection between a racing heartbeat and racing thoughts

When we enter fight-or-flight, our heart beat starts beating faster, pumping more blood throughout the system. This de-activates our vagus nerve, the largest nerve in our body, responsible for circulation, breath regulation, and digestion (and it also supports cognition, important functions while thinking on our feet).

One of the biggest misconceptions about palpitations is that we need to take in more air to alleviate them. This creates even more effortful breathing and more chest activity in that effort, which perpetuates anxiety.

In fact, when our hearts are palpitating, our bodies are pumping more air and blood at a surface level. We are not breathing deeply or taking generative breaths.

When our heart rate increases, so does the speed of our thoughts. We speak faster to keep up with our racing thoughts, which forces us to inhale quickly through an open mouth. This feeds anxiety because we are taking in too much air instead of expending and exhaling excess CO2 from the system. This results in dry mouth and air hunger.

Regulating our nervous system

To get out of anxiety, we have to get out of our heads and into our bodies. We can do this by having an outside-in approach and choosing a big physical tool to re-focus our attention.

My tool of choice is conscious breathing. I anchor to the sound of my audible breath because it creates an auditory anchor that can actually replace the soundtrack of racing thoughts. It also happens to regulate the nervous system out of fight-or-flight.

We have to counter the speed and intensity of anxiety by consciously slowing down the moment.

Instead of breathing shallow (or holding your breath), use diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, 360 breathing, or my personal favorite, yogic breathing, called Ujjayi Pranayama. This translates from Sanskrit into “ocean-sounding breath” or “the victorious breath”.

Relieving speaking nerves in real time

In a moment of palpitations, instead of focusing on inhaling and “taking a deep breath”, focus on your exhale and getting as much air as possible out of the system.

Before a speaking opportunity, do an elongated exhale practice, where you inhale for a count of two, exhale for a count of 6 and hold the emptiness after the exhale for a count of 6. Repeat this until you feel your thoughts slow down.

I practice this breath outside of communication as an attentional exercise. Every time my mind wanders and I get lost in thought, I bring my attention back to the sound of the breath. I do this again and again, because the practice is really in the moment of resetting rather than trying to maintain perfection in presence.

At the same time, I am building my capacity for more breath support and control when I need it most. I practice this outside of communications so that this deeper, more generative breath becomes more available and accessible to me in moments of high stress.

This creates an attentional focus that gives me a strong foundation. It gives me a consistent place to return to when I get swept up into the anxiety. And it doesn't hurt that it is proven to regulate the sympathetic nervous system.

On Zoom, you can the ocean sounding breath while you’re on mute (or you can do it really quietly in-person too). I call this my listening mechanism, it helps to hook me in and focus on the present moment.

While speaking, incorporate micro-pauses where you can refuel for a breath (or exhale excess air if you’re palpitating). Breathe in through your nose (instead of your mouth) to make sure air gets deep into the system instead of breathing shallow or holding your breath.

Try this the next time you have speaking anxiety. And comment below to let me know how it goes!