How to Prepare for Impromptu Speaking
When preparing to speak spontaneously, most people either avoid-and-wing-it or over-prepare-and-memorize. Here’s my process for finding a centered approach for preparing when you can’t prepare.
You’re in a meeting. Suddenly, we’re going to go around the room. Everyone has to share something about themselves.
Panic.
Your heart starts racing. Your mind starts racing. You can barely hear your own thoughts let alone anything anyone has shared.
Putting people on the spot and calling on people to speak off-the-cuff is far too common in too many situations, particularly those with high stakes. Most people struggle speaking up (relative to their power and privilege in any given space, of course). And those of us who struggle with speaking are usually put on the spot by the few who claim to feel naturally comfortable speaking up in high-stakes settings.
For me and the people I support, we need structure when speaking, and the same is true for being put on the spot. In my work, I find that most people who struggle with speaking will over-prepare, try to anticipate everything that could be asked, script out their ideas, and then become deferential to pre-determined ideas in the moment. Others feel like they can’t prepare for these moments in the same way they would, say, a public speaking moment or presentation, so they don’t prepare at all, think their way while speaking, or share every single detail in an impromptu response that ends up overwhelming their audience.
Most of us are focusing on how we’re being perceived instead of what we’re trying to articulate in the moment. “Can they tell I’m nervous?” “Am I being clear?” “Did what I just say make sense?”: These thoughts serve as distractions taking us further from our own point of view in any given moment. We can’t possibly express ourselves with ease when we feel like we’re being watched or when we’re watching ourselves.
Especially as you ascend in authority, it’s essential to prioritize clarity of your perspective and not that of those you perceive to be “judging” you. Here are my tips for preparing to speak spontaneously:
Articulate an Objective
Before any meeting with stakes, I find a focus or a purpose for the meeting. What do you want attendees to walk away and do? What do you want the outcome of the event to produce?
Sometimes, that objective can center myself, which is revealing: “I want to do a good job” or “I want to prove I’m the right person to be here”. Thoughts like this serve to diminish your authority and add pressure to you.
Instead, manually choose an objective that centers your audience. Yesterday, while speaking to a group of global organizers and activists (“What could they possibly learn from me?”: now that’s a distraction) I articulated my objective as my first piece of content: “Our purpose in this workshop is to provide tools to help you feel powerful so you can power your important movements”.
By articulating an objective that centers your audience, you decenter yourself and help everyone move in a unified direction together. It’s powerful! And you don’t need to know the contents of a meeting to choose an objective.
Set an Intention
Years ago, I started seeing a new client who was an executive at a global company. She admitted no anxiety and could not clearly articulate a reason for wanting to work with me.
Without a focus, I filled the Validation Void by seeking and searching for approval. I was subconsciously trying to prove myself.
We can’t feel powerful and confident when we’re asking for permission.
At the time, I developed a tool to refocus my attention in the present moment. It needed to be something that helped me feel powerful and in control. I decided that I would focus on making this person feel supported.
I may not be able to “change her life”. I may not even be able to solve any definitive challenges for her. But supporting her? That I know how to do.
(Years later, this client came back to me for another package and admitted to struggling with speaking anxiety the whole time. She was too scared to admit it, even to me! Even to herself!)
How do you want to make your audience feel? Do you want them to feel confident in your ability? That can lead you to subconsciously “prove” yourself. Instead, manually choose an emotion that helps you feel powerful.
Make them feel comfortable. Make them feel WELCOME. Make them feel connected.
The emotion you choose matters. When I’m speaking to a group, I choose a more energizing emotion. Make them feel ignited. Make them feel galvanized.
When I’m feeling anxious or the interaction is more intimate, I’ll make them feel at ease. Make them feel heard.
When you’re focusing on outcomes or adding pressure to yourself, reset your attention on how you want to make your audience feel.
Find Your Golden Nugget
For those of us who struggle with speaking, we usually over-craft or over-engineer our off-the-cuff responses. We feel like we should have a paragraph, like our response should be organized into sections, like we need to be thorough”.
All of this is impossible. We cannot speak spontaneously the same way we write an email! And editing as you speak is one of the behaviors that increases over-thinking.
Instead, before you go into a meeting, brainstorm a few topics that might be discussed. What is your Golden Nugget for each one?
Your Golden Nugget is not a paragraph. It’s not a “thorough” response. It’s one idea or phrase that is the biggest, most high-level umbrella for your perspective on that topic. It’s a focusing agent, a frame, saying, “Look here!”.
I like to practice accessing my Golden Nugget in moments when I don’t feel pressure to respond. That helps me cultivate more ease in my thinking as I “listen” to the answer deep within my being (instead of “trying” to “think really hard” while speaking).
My Golden Nugget is almost always the first thing that comes to me. It is then followed by a million other thoughts. Left to my own devices, I get lost in the myriad of choices the moment presents.
The Golden Nugget can help simplify the moment for you and your audience.
Anchor Your Attention
Finally, choose something to focus on while speaking. Most of us don’t do this and this causes us to follow the moment with less consciousness.
Instead, choose one thing, an anchor, to be primary in your attention. Something like leaning back in your chair, or honing in on eye focus, or anchoring your physical attention with a prop. Your anchor can also be your objective or intention!
The idea is not to maintain your focus on the anchor the whole time (that’s impossible!) but to return to the anchor when you lose that focus. This creates consistency, a solid place to return home to, and this is how we build self-trust in the moment.